me and my soulmates

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

polygamy/poligami...yes or no?

Salam to all.....

i thought i want to comment on this topic for has been bugging me for the past few days.I'm hoping i'll get few feedbacks from you guys out there.

So,this polygamy is the word that most married women fear..I'm not sure i'm in which category.I want to talk about this bcoz..i know that there are women out there who wants to get married but their husband to be,is a married man.happily married man,with kids and all.Yesss!!!he's happy..but why did he fell in love with another woman?Is he out of love with his present wife?Is he not happy with his kids?Is he not happy with something?Couldn't be..he IS happily married.So why does he want to get married again?WHY???

Most wives who's against this polygamy thing,will go berserk,"meroyan",stresssed herself up by searching for the answer.."what did i do wrong?where did we go wrong?what did i mislook?"All these questions will be in her mind..torturing her day and nite..every second of the day.Am i that old?Am i not beautiful anymore?did i "give"him when he wants it?and the lists of questions will go on...

I'm sorry darlings..I dont have the answer to that.What i'm trying to say tonight is,in some cases...your husbands still loves you,he wont divorce you,you will always be the mother of his children that he adores and love...He's just being a man.

I havent done any research on this.Whatever i say here is completely my humble,personal views on this subject.I'm sorry if in the process of reading this,some of you might be hurt by my opinion,its not intentional.Just take it as another view by someone who's havent had any experience in this matter.

He's just being a MAN.Man falls in love easily...i dont know why but that's them.Lusts is different but i believe that a man can fall in love with another woman just like he fells in love with his 1st wife...sick?stupid?i dont know but i think its what they are.They can love their wife and at the same time love another woman.Its not that they dont love their wife anymore but they just have soooo much love to give(crap!!!)

I'm happy with my husband and i pray all the time that our marriage will last forever,that he wont fall out of love on me,and wont be hanky panky and wont lust on another woman.That's my prayer..but what happens in the future,i dont know.insyaallah,we will continue to build our relationship,shower it with love and have respect for each other till death do us part.
I understand there'll be frustrations,anger,hate,sadness,confusions,etc,etc...when you find out that the one you love and lived with,the one that you build your dreamhouse together,have kids together (and so on )can fall in love with another woman.You'll be cursing the other woman,call her names and all those unthinkable things that you want to do to her,just so you could hurt her the way she hurt you and your kids...but,is that worth it?Nothing or no one can describe the pain that you have in you,the dreams that you build together is crushed,gone,poof!!Is it worth the pain?
So my dear....I dont know what i'd do or how i'd react(nauzubillah)but i have this believe that if the husband can afford to have more than one wife,afford in every sense of the word,zahir and batin..why not?Islam allows it,its not wrong but the husband have to know that to care for one wife is a big "amanah".wives are "amanah"from Allah swt.If the husband can afford to have more than one wife,to be "adil"in every single thing(dont think they can),why not?
Go marry another...but have to remember,your marriage is with Gods name,so dont play a fool.
i'm getting sleepy now so i think i better stop now.i hope that all the wives will continue to pray and be thankful everyday,count your blessings and have faith.If your husband is lookin for another "one",take a deep breath,pray and ask for His help and guidance.Its not the end of the world.(i sure hope it wont happen to me)nauzubillah.

Monday, April 27, 2009

change is good

Salam everyone....:)

I've been wanting to pen down my view on this big word..CHANGE..but i'm afraid that i'll end up saying something that i myself do not practice.I've been to many places(alhamdulillah),seen many people,how they live,what they eat and many more how's.I've been blessed to see the other side of this beautiful world that i live in,been blessed to get the chances to visit other countries and been blessed to feel and experienced the four seasons..truly blessed,Alhamdulillah...I've seen the sunrise at the height of thousand heights above sea level,and the sunset too.At that moment,i felt it in my heart that The Almighty wanted me to see all His creations to make me realise that i'm blessed.(Alhamdulillah)

Why change?Why change?Have we asked there a need to change some part in our "perfect"life?or not perfect life?why is there a need to change?I'll try my best not to pick on anyone..i'll try my level best not to talk about my humble life..I'll try to say this in general,in my most humble opinion.

If we're not happy about how our lives are going,say your thanks to Him who have open your heart and eyes that you actually know that you need some changes in your life.

  1. are you happy with your job?

  2. are you happy with your spendings?

  3. are you always short of money every month?

  4. have you been to anywhere(holidays/getaways)for the past 1 year?

  5. do you have that special someone to share your happy and sad moments?

  6. do you still hold any grudges against anyone?

  7. do you still blame other people on the "mistakes"that you make?

  8. when is the last time you visit any mosques/surau/church/temple?

  9. when was the last time that you prayed?

  10. when was the last time you "mengaji "Al-Quran(for the muslims)

  11. when was the last time you say your thanks to your parents?

  12. when was the last time you held hands with your spouse?

  13. when was the last time you have a decent meal with your loved ones?

This list can go on forever..these lists comes to my mind as i'm typing.I never wrote down any list before.I asked myself some of these questions to myself..just to check on improve myself on all aspects of mylife.I personally think that if my life havent change for the past 1 year than i have to do some changes.If i feel that my bank accounts doesnt allow me to spend so much,i wont.If i feel that i've been spending too much on takeouts or unnecessary things,then i make changes.I'm a homemaker,with two toddlers.Yes i do have a side income but i like to do some reality check on myself sometimes.All in all i still think we have to go back to our basics(agama).I strongly believe that if we live according to our religion and faith,things will change for the better.I always like to remind myself that all this is just a "loan".You,me,my beloved husband,kids and other family members,beloved friends..loaned to us for a certain period of time..and we dont know when is our turn to "leave"this world.So,make the best of it.Change...i have to change..

I have a lot to change,i hope i'm strong enough to change it.I know that i can change for the better.If we shut our eyes,our ears and our hearts to change for the better...things will always be like this for will never change.If anyone of you out there have a perfect someone to change their life for a better to bring a smile or put a hope in their hearts that there is a better future for them.

I'm not sure that this post make any sense..i sure hope you guys understand what i'm trying to say...

Saturday, April 25, 2009

My sweet Marissa :)


Assalamualaikum everyone.I was sooo extremely tired that i couldnt move my limbs...but i experienced a new episode in my humble life..Marissa went for her first day of preschool!!yeay!!It's not like a normal preschool,i sent her to vital years.It was actually an asessment class for her,trial class.I wanted a trial class so that i know wat my daughter wants.If she's not happy there then i wont enrol her.Alhamdulillah she enjoyed her 1st session and she actually passed the 1st stage of assesment.Her teacher told me that she's very independent,friendly and she can recognise and memorise very fast.Alhamdulillah,syukur.I infact notice that after her first day at school,she actually become more polite and she follow instructions well...alhamdulillah.Not that marissa was very naughty but she can be very stubborn at times..but she's still my sweet,sweet baby.This is new to us both my husband and me,our precious lil princcess is already in schooll...:( sad,mixed feelings.I know i'm going to miss her,maybe i sound like a sick mom or something,everybody goes through this right but i like to make mine sound more dramatic..I KNOW i'm going to miss her.
Marissa,if you're reading this one day,mummy want you to know that ayah and I are very proud of you and we love you verry much..."bigger than the ocean,bigger than the universe"(my tagline when i hug her )I'm sure Muaz loves you and was proud of you too.He actually misses you when you were in school :)
okies for now.I have to get neighbours having a wedding..waiting for muaz to get up and get him ready.
take care y'all.

Friday, April 24, 2009


salam everyone...i know its late but this is the only "free"time that i have..on my own..hehehe.whoever yg ada 2 toddlers will know what i mean.actually i'm one of the lucky ones..i mean ,i'm not that -super-busy-do-it all type of mum.I'm thankful that i dont have to cook or clean the hse everyday.(Alhamdulillah)thank you to my hubby who is super understanding in part kena masak ni..and he's not the fussy type have to cook everyday or clean everyday...
yess..Alhamdulillah..i'm so blessed.I hope when Marissa is all grown up and if she gets married,i doakan she'll have someone yg baik and understanding,not fussy,gentle,soft spoken and responsible hubby...just like her ayah.Aminnn...
There's a wediing tomorrow nite after isyak,my neighbours 21 yrs old daughter,the bongsu in the family is getting married.So,its like a tradition of the people here to gotong royong,peel the onions,garlic,ginger..etc...they do everything together from scratch.The neighbours here still practice this gotong royong thing which sometimes its fun and sometimes its me.
Its verrrryyy tiring.I'm not looking forward to the cooking part..hey..sorry mates.I dont like the idea of having to sacrifice my childrens need,just to cook for a wedding.I meani know they would understand,they always do ;)
Muaz is still breastfeeding and i'm not the type to do it infront of the whole world you know what i mean?hehehehe....
So..tomorrow i'll wake up and do the normal thing and maybe i have to go and see a friend or maybe i have to "cook"with thy neyberrs..we'll seee....
till then adiossss..nite folks.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

yeay..hubby coming back!!

Sorry people...forgot to mention how excited i am that my other half is coming tomorrow.It's been 7 years now (in july)that we've been married but i'm thankful that i still looking forward for him to come home..that must be a good sign aye...he's going to be around for the next 4!!..made plans to update our friends and our work,planning to meet up and catching up with baby blu (wakakakaka)maybe do some visiting.i dont know yet,kita hanya merancang,Allah yg okies for now...



Salam to all....havent had anything to post lately.A lot of things on my mind and a lot of things to do.Marissa and muaz is down with flu but not severe,'alhamdulillah.Have to start on their cod liver oil routine again.Eversince i had muaz,i notice that i'm lacking on discipline..last time i make sure marissa's diet includes protein,cod liver oil,fruits and raisins(a must) everyday.Raisins and strawberries were her favourite.She was not alllowed to have cold drinks.I read to her everyday.Stayed in her toys room with her and she knows her ABC's when she was only turning to 3 years old.I was so proud of her.
But now,i'm like this lazy ass mom(excuse my language),demanding more time to myself,not reading enough with my kids and i dont like this "new" me.Muaz is showing a lot of interest in books and yes we never fail to go to MPH on every outing but i still think i'm not giving enough.I'm exhausted and i dont know why i kinda take things lightly..
actually i hate to admit this but i think i know the reasons behind it all.I have other things to do.I have other thing for me to do for it bad?no..i dont think so..i do need to do my own things..right mommies.A happy mommy makes a happy family.
I just have to be more late nites(as if!!)
less skyping with baby blu and less berangan..dalam otak ni how to make more money???
that is soooo bad!poor marissa n muaz..mommy not giving you the attention you soo deserve.I will change,i want to change and i want to change it for me n my beloved family.

adios people..gtg.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

new day...i feel great!!

Stayed up after subuh..made coffee,thai boxing a bit,swept the house,dusting and wiping wherever is needed ;))
I'm feeling great,feeling positive today.May this day and everyday will be a great day for me and my loved ones.My other half and my terrible two and terrible four is still sleeping ;).Going to make breakfast shortly.marissa loves bread with kaya..Heart shpae kaya bread mum..i can hear her saying before they wakes up.have a great day mommies!!
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