Salam to all.....
i thought i want to comment on this topic for tonite..it has been bugging me for the past few days.I'm hoping i'll get few feedbacks from you guys out there.
So,this polygamy is the word that most married women fear..I'm not sure i'm in which category.I want to talk about this bcoz..i know that there are women out there who wants to get married but their husband to be,is a married man.happily married man,with kids and all.Yesss!!!he's happy..but why did he fell in love with another woman?Is he out of love with his present wife?Is he not happy with his kids?Is he not happy with something?Couldn't be..he IS happily married.So why does he want to get married again?WHY???
Most wives who's against this polygamy thing,will go berserk,"meroyan",stresssed herself up by searching for the answer.."what did i do wrong?where did we go wrong?what did i mislook?"All these questions will be in her mind..torturing her day and nite..every second of the day.Am i that old?Am i not beautiful anymore?did i "give"him when he wants it?and the lists of questions will go on...
I'm sorry darlings..I dont have the answer to that.What i'm trying to say tonight is,in some cases...your husbands still loves you,he wont divorce you,you will always be the mother of his children that he adores and love...He's just being a man.
I havent done any research on this.Whatever i say here is completely my humble,personal views on this subject.I'm sorry if in the process of reading this,some of you might be hurt by my opinion,its not intentional.Just take it as another view by someone who's havent had any experience in this matter.
He's just being a MAN.Man falls in love easily...i dont know why but that's them.Lusts is different but i believe that a man can fall in love with another woman just like he fells in love with his 1st wife...sick?stupid?i dont know but i think its what they are.They can love their wife and at the same time love another woman.Its not that they dont love their wife anymore but they just have soooo much love to give(crap!!!)
I'm happy with my husband and i pray all the time that our marriage will last forever,that he wont fall out of love on me,and wont be hanky panky and wont lust on another woman.That's my prayer..but what happens in the future,i dont know.insyaallah,we will continue to build our relationship,shower it with love and have respect for each other till death do us part.
I understand there'll be frustrations,anger,hate,sadness,confusions,etc,etc...when you find out that the one you love and lived with,the one that you build your dreamhouse together,have kids together (and so on )can fall in love with another woman.You'll be cursing the other woman,call her names and all those unthinkable things that you want to do to her,just so you could hurt her the way she hurt you and your kids...but,is that worth it?Nothing or no one can describe the pain that you have in you,the dreams that you build together is crushed,gone,poof!!Is it worth the pain?
So my dear....I dont know what i'd do or how i'd react(nauzubillah)but i have this believe that if the husband can afford to have more than one wife,afford in every sense of the word,zahir and batin..why not?Islam allows it,its not wrong but the husband have to know that to care for one wife is a big "amanah".wives are "amanah"from Allah swt.If the husband can afford to have more than one wife,to be "adil"in every single thing(dont think they can),why not?
Go marry another...but have to remember,your marriage is with Gods name,so dont play a fool.
i'm getting sleepy now so i think i better stop now.i hope that all the wives will continue to pray and be thankful everyday,count your blessings and have faith.If your husband is lookin for another "one",take a deep breath,pray and ask for His help and guidance.Its not the end of the world.(i sure hope it wont happen to me)nauzubillah.