sorry baby,abang.

To my dearest children,I'm truly sorry for not taking the time to look into your eyes when we talk,sometimes I'm busy with my work,housework and caught up with my own ups and downs,my mistake...I'm only human :) I pray that we will always love and respect each other and know that I'll be there for you always,insyaallah.

moving on.......

Have you ever experienced something so hurtful until you just can't let it out of your mind?So bad that you keep on dwelling about it,keep talking about it...How do you let it go?How do you move on?

I maybe good at telling someone to "move on","don't look back""God is great"...I too have issues on moving on not so long ago...but now I think I have move on and am happier that I did.I wished I can help this person that I really care for to move on with her life,to cherish the blessings that Allah swt has blessed her and to live her life but I can only wish.It's she who have to make that move...:(

(semoga dia dikurniakan hidayah untuk meneruskan kehidupan dengan hati yg terbuka dan tenang)

(pic googled)

Idul Adha in ganu kite??jengjengjeng:)

We might celebrate our Idul Adha in Kuala Trengganu..yahooo!!If the flights not full,we just might..We sisters planned to celebrate with our dad who's in Trengganu now,teaching undergraduates English.InsyaAllah..doakan hajat kami tercapai.:)*excited*My last visit to Trengganu was many,many...MANY years ago..eh,come to think of it,did we have nightstops in TGG back then?(ame...help)

My baking class 14th Nov2009 with Pn.Nurul Huda.

I did it!!!I actually enrol myself in a  baking class and enjoyed every minute of it.Not to mention how amazed I was with the hostess,Pn.Nurul Huda and her huge kitchen.It was an amazing experience.Gotta be honest with you guys..it was quite tiring.Only after I finished baking and got into the car that I realised,I was on my feet for 4hrs...I only sat for less than 5 minutes...Okay,when I used to fly we had to endure 13-15 hours of standing and walking but that was different :)

All in all I'm proud of myself and had a great time..yess it was worth it because my hubby and my kids loved them cakes..:)

black cherry cupcakes

Me n Nurul

my cupcakes

yellow butter cake with lemon flavour and choc mousse in between

muaz(sleepy dah masa ni)

amazing kitchen!

a gift from Nurul

whining won't solve your problems...

Salam everyone :)....Do you whine?Who do you talk to when you're not happy about something?Everybody have their own way in tackling this issue.I have a few ways myself tho it doesn't help everytime,but most of the time it does..
I talk to my husband,my best girlfriend,doa..bla,bla,bla..Sometimes I don't want them to tell me what to do or how to solve the problem..I just need someone to hear me out..yesss...hormones kinda do that to women esp after having kids. (blaming something/someone is one one way to release stress hehehe)
So..after all that whining..what do you actually do to solve the issue?Whatever the issue maybe..how do you solve it?Do you :

1. Sleep on it
2. Argue about it
3. Work on it
4. Nothing is worth your precious time.
5. ???
6. Blame other people
7. Lash it out on other people(yg takde kena mengena dgn masalah itu)
8. ???

I don't have the answer.I know I can forgive,hard to forget and I can pretend,I can also get hurt easily.I'm very sensitive towards what people say and I'm very good at reading between the lines.
What I don't understand is why is it a problem to other people how I live my life,how I like my life to be when I never ask their opinion or bother them...:)
THAT I have yet to find the answer...I really hope one day I will.

membina masjid....

Salam...I'm pretty sure in the malay society we often hear this esp when someone is getting married.."dia nak membina masjid"(building a mosque)which is a very noble thing to do...Yess?I know I've heard it many times and have used that phrase many times(hmmmm...)What I failed to do was to actually understand the meaning behind it.....not until last week...:)
I went to visit my mom and we were talking about our routines..what happen in that week or you know just catching up on things.We were talking about the "p" word when my mom said"nauzubillah"..I asked her (panic.).."why ma???what did I say?"
My mama told me this"Ana..careful of what you say in your house.It's a doa.Just like what people always say,membina masjid...what you say in the mosque is a doa..same goes to what you say in your house.Which I quickly regretted what I said and pray that.Allah will accept my doa.
So ladies and gentlemen....it's a lesson well learnt and I hope to be more careful of what I wish or what I  say.

is this a permanent thing?

I'm beginning to enjoy baking very much and I wonder if it's just a phase or a permanent thing :) I was thinking to enrol myself in a baking class to polish my skills;if there's any..hmmmm...

lasagna anyone? :)

I made beef lasagna for the 1st time and it was a hit.It was suppose to be our dinner but it didn't make it to the dinner table...We finished the whole foil in less than 1 hr*LOL*..Alhamdulillah.I made it from scratch by following the recipe stated behind the lasagna sheets box,did a few changes to the recipe to fit my kids taste bud and mine too.Marissa even asked for more lasagna the next day but we didn't have anymore minced beef and lasagna sheets...sorry baby,mummy will make more soon okay*kiss2*

5th-8thnov 2009

my chocolate banana cake

ready to blow the candles

my dinner

my love,my best friend,my pillar of strength

testing

5th-8th 2009

We started my birthday celebration on the 5th..eve of my birthday :)*Alhamdulillah*It wasn't a big party,wasn't even a party but it was a day filled with love and laughter...cewwwaahhh!!!like real je kan..hahahah...

Yeah,we went out on the 5th..hmm let me recall what we did on that day....

.

.

.

We went to alamanda because marissa wanted to go there soooo much.Took them for the rides,playland and I went window shopping alone while MR.SO took care of them.*thank you Yang*He asked me where I'd like to have my pre-birthday dinner and I wasn't in the mood of anything fancy..eversince I got them kids,I haven't step a foot into a fancy restaurant(except when we're on a holiday)..So..I have been dreamin' bout this particular burger hahahaha...Its "the Western Whopper"!!!So Burger King it is.The kids had their Big  Apple's donut,and mommy shared the whopper with ayah and the kiddos.Everybody was happy and we went home...ooppsss not just yet.

MR.SO insisted on me having a birthday cake.We went to Giant and got ballons and a small cake with candles and headed home.Marissa and Muaz was practically over excited about mummy's birthday that they were singing birthday song all the way home...adoiiii..:)

They prepared the cake,the plates,the balloons...all 3 of them and I stayed in the room only coming out from the room to make myself a big mug of Nescafe.Then the clock struck 12am and they sang birthday songs..4x hokay!!!cut the cakes and everybody went to sleep at around 0130hrs.

So on my birthday itself,everybody woke up late,mummy didn't have to cook.MR.So made breakfast,cekodok pisang and coffee...not bad.You can take over the cooking part anytime yang,I won't feeel offended :)kekekeke..

We went to TGIF in IOI mall for dinner and that's the end of My "celebration"with my loved ones.

Thank you Shahrom Omar for loving me and accepting me for what I am(ye ke??)

Thank you Marissa and Muhammad Muaz for making mummy's life meaningful ...though u guys can be a real pain sometimes ;)

Thank you for the wonderful birthday "party"...it was very special...love u.

mama got this for me

marissa got a pretty hat from Su

muaz on my birthday eve

my 2009 birthday

freakin pissed!!

I'm freakin' pissed at myself for not knowing how to fix the problem.
I'm pissed sometimes I can and sometimes I can't!!!
I'm pissed because it's suppose to be simple yet it's complicated for me :(

I CANNOT UPLOAD MY PHOTOS FOR SOME !@#$% REASON!!

my "senget"but yummy cupcakes :)

No,its not my 1st attempt at baking cupcakes.Yes,unfortunately I'm no perfectionist,dont mind not being one...hehehe..made these,yummy (ferasan but percayalah,memang sedapss)cupcakes 2 nites ago.I dont have the proper mould so i just bake them and prayed infront of the oven that it will turn out nice..kahkahkah..how pathethic is that??!!Marissa keep saying"its ok mom,it will turn out great"..hmm..my baby girl's vocab is improving day by day*alhamdulillah*she really knows how to keep me calm and sometimes the opposite..hahaha..
The cupcakes did turnout not great looking but they are really yummy..We had them for breakfast and they were still soft and fluffy and we had them for tea time too...Syabas mummy..oh not to forget,have to mention it here,Marissa and Muaz helped to bake them,they helped to add the flour,baking powder,and they helped to put the cupcakes cases in the tray,and helped to lick the mixing bowl!!

just around the corner....;)

Yessss!!!!Just like my best friend,my birthday is coming just around the corner...wooot!woot!!Age is just a number,I don't feel old...kahkahkah...young at heart always(yes,silakan muntah),
I celebrate my birthday every year,I dunno why but I always feel excited that I even tell my kids about how excited I am :) Maybe because I was brought up that way.My parents(alhamdulillah)never failed to wish me on my birthdays,even until today,after having 2 kids of my own,my parents and my sisters still wish me on the eve of my birthdays.On my birthday itself,they will sent msgs on my phone,my nieces and nephews will call me and sing birthday song for me.
It's not like I have birthday parties every year..no,no,no..I celebrate it with my loved ones.I will thank my mom for giving birth to me,thank my dad for being there for me and for loving me,thank my hubby for loving me..and to The Creator,Allah swt for blessing me with so many good things,alhamdulillah.
So,this year..I  know that they will wish me and sing for me,looking forward to it.My mom called me yesterday and she bought me a gift :) Alhamdulillah..she didnt have to..mama,mama..
Like any other ladies out there,who have their own wishlist for their birthday. ..I'm no different..hehehe...I wish for...say the magic word...diding,boding,dibodingboding...hahaha
those who watched PHD with their kids will know this..
So..leave me in my own world for a moment to dream about the things in my wishlist...dream,dream,dream....:)

if tomorrow never comes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6lw1suaZpo

Salam everyone...I was about to sleep  when this came to mind..What if tomorrow never comes..??I looked into my husbands face,marissa's and muaz's...and I asked myself,if my time is up..have I showed them how much they mean to me?Have I been a good mum  and that person that my husband wants..
So many "what if's" came to mind,what if I lose my sight,I won't be able to look at their beautiful faces again,if I lose my hearing,I wont be able to hear their voices...and so many more what if's...nauzubillahiminzallik..
I'm thankful for what I have and I hope I will remember how fortunate I am to have so many good things in my life.Yang,Marissa and Muaz...I love you.Mama,Papa,kaklong ,aza..I love you.My good friend Ame,thank you for being there for me always ;)..my inlaws,mak n abah..terima kasih atas kepercayaan,and to everybody who knows me,thank you for letting me be part of your beautiful life.